BOOK TOUR BLOG: Old Dominion University
"I was born in East Virginia
To Carolina I did roam
There I met a little woman
Her age and name I didn't know...
Her hair was soft, a dark brown color
And her cheeks were rosy red
On her breast she wore white linen
Oh the tears that I have shed...
I'd rather be in some dark hollow
Where the sun don't ever shine
Than be another's darling
And know she never will be mine..."
- East Virginia Blues
(June Carter Cash's version)
..............................................................................................
THURSDAY, OCTOBER 28TH:
OLD DOMINION UNIVERSITY
NORFOLK, VIRGINIA
An open letter to the people of Virginia
(and, for that matter, the entire American south):
Please, stop being kind to me. When our paths cross on some sun-lit sidewalk, please refrain from the following pleasantries:
"Hi there;" "How's it going?;" "How are you?;" "Enjoying the day?" These sweet inquiries jar me; they disorient me; they mentally confuse me; and they...ummm...kind of make me wonder if you're f***ing with me. Please understand: I'm a New Yorker. And as such, here's what I'm accustomed to: exclusion; aversion; malice; abuse at the hands of strangers; abuse at the hands of intimates; abuse at the hands of people in official capacities. Where I'm from, we regard strangers with either: a) distrust, b) contempt, or c) utter disregard. Therefore, I'd appreciate it if you, my Southern brothers and sisters, would afford me that very same courtesy. For future reference, I'd feel much more comfortable if you addressed me with any of the following pre-approved greetings: "Watch it!;" "What are you blind?;" or "What the hell is wrong with you?" Also fine are: "F*** you;" "F*** your mother;" and "Drop dead asshole." Again, thank you for your understanding. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
1 p.m.- As my plane nosed down in Norfolk, I was anxious to investigate Virginia's age-old tourism slogan, "Virginia is for lovers." Would the Commonwealth of Virginia gift me a lover? You know, hand him over right there on the tarmac? The same way they present you with a lei the instant you deplane in Hawaii? Sadly, this wasn't the case. I was greeted (not by a lover),
but instead, by a morose kind of tour guide--my name lettered drowsily on his cardboard sign. I tried to warm him up while we cruised through the city's elaborate web of tunnels and bridges. "Why had he moved to Virginia?" "To escape the red-depth-hell of California," he informed me. And Norfolk was the farthest away he could get without "getting his feet wet." "But does he enjoy living here?" I asked. "No," he replied. "Not particularly."
2 p.m.- Upon check in, there was no room at the inn. Not yet, at least. So I got to drift through the streets of Norfolk for a couple of hours--through the MacArthur Center, by the Hermitage Foundation Museum, and past the battleship USS Wisconsin. I took flat, boring photos and dug on some local history.
What? Did I hear you say you say you crave trivia? Well:
- In the 1800s, a yellow fever epidemic killed a third of the people in Norfolk.
- Today, Norfolk is, quite obviously, a for-serious military center. And the Norfolk Navy base is the largest in the U.S.
- Norfolk's credo is "Cresas." Latin for "Thou shalt grow"...And that'd make a nice tattoo wouldn't it? Get on it, kids.
5:30 p.m.- Dinner time found me dining with some tremendous sweetie pies at Old Dominion University, including health educator Cynthia Duncan, assorted sorority presidents, and my new pal Ben from Old Dominion's student newspaper. Naturally, we debated some very serious topics over strawberry shortcake, including that wacky "Meet the Carters" show. Gals, I hope to see you soon in Manhattan. And Ben, I await the day I see your byline in the pages of R.S., where, god knows, they could use a few good men.
7:00 p.m.- So I experienced some camera flash malfunctions during my reading. And every photo I have is virtually un-postable; they are blurred, quivery images that look like they were captured by an epileptic wino. So I'm afraid you'll just have to trust me when I tell you I killed. And the evening was a good time for all (or at least, most) involved
10:30 p.m.- By the time the moon was tall in the broad Virginia sky, I was settled back in at my room in some Courtyard Marriott, terrorizing myself with Bravo's "100 Scariest Movie Moments" and subsequently sleeping with the light on. I dreamed of Body Snatchers, Poltergeists, Candymen, Wolfmen, Pet Cemeteries, Hellraisers, Psychos, Exorcists, and when the morning came, I clicked my heels and went home to an eerily cloudless New York City.
Anyway, Halloween this week- yay! And CMJ!
ooh baby,
do you have your costumes yet?
x Koren
posted by Koren at 6:19 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home